The restrained bark

I don't know where to begin this from but lifes just been taking unindicated turns around. So I'm just gonna start and keep deflecting as i feel like.

• I woke up this morning.
• Call from my incharge
• He wanted me to work even though i was on leave
• I declined
• Things got serious
• Heated Arguments
• I showed up at work
• Heated Arguments again
• I left
• He filed a complaint

That is how practically how half of my day went by. I've been having problems at work; specially with this guy for the past sometime now. Apparently he doesnt love me so much. I don't either. But I'm justified. He has begun to hate everything I do. Except for my breathing process and my dressing, nothing seems acceptable to him. So I'm probably going to end up in deep shit. I just hope my managers support me. Which they have assured me to. Work politics suck. I always knew about this. Never knew it could grow so bad. I dread to go to work these days. Curse myself for working so early in my age. Its because we (most collegaues) are so demotivated that we don't feel like working. First thing that comes to mind when i wake up and have to go to work - SHIT NO!

Yes so thats how bad it has got for me through the first year of my worklife. I wish i was a lot more straight forward though. This should have happened earlier. I feel good for standing up for something I'm entitled to.

Apart from my workplace. I've got quite a few other things going on.

I got exams this week. Barely 2 weeks left. I hope they go well. I'm not even gonna talk about how unprepared I am.

I've broken up. If that is a word. And if you understand what i mean. Its affecting me so bad. I didn't know it would be hit me so bad. As much as i try and avoid thoughts, they still keep coming back. Somewhere, with something i do, I just get reminded of things. That time was wonderful though. I wanna get back to that life. Its just so lonely. I'm not complaining. Maybe I am. Maybe i'm just whining because I'm single. Again. But its more than that. I shouldn't have jumped into this shit. Maybe I wasn't ready. Maybe she wasn't. Who knows. Its gone now anyway. It just wasnt the right time.

My best friend has her share of problems. Worst part is, I can't even solve them. I'm so helpless. She's always been around for me. She still is. But she is a lot mature than I am. I can't even convince her to get her life straight. Even though I want to. All i can do is talk to her as much as I can. I try to all the time. I don't think she deserved all this. But people can get unrealistic (yes i know what i'm saying). I wish i could somehow sort all of her problems rightaway. She seems so down. She's been a major backing all my life. It hurts if I can't be there for her as much as I should be. It hurts to see her down.

I'm just away from everything. Away from most of my friends. I just feel like being left alone. I need a break. Need a break from everything i do. Maybe its asking for too much. But it would definitely help straighten my life. At least a bit. I just wanna be suspended. In mid air. With all the peace and calm i could get.

I think i've whined a lot for today. I had to. Had to just lay it off. I'm sorry for not being as entertaining as you would have expected me to be.